I have a confession to make: I hate phone calls.

Even if it’s someone I love. Even if it’s my best friend. Even if it’s just a quick, casual chat.

There’s something about that ringing sound that sends my energy into hiding. But here’s the part that surprises people — texting doesn’t feel much better. In fact, sometimes, it’s even worse.

As a proud introvert, this might sound odd. Aren’t introverts supposed to love texting? Isn’t it our way of escaping the energy drain of face-to-face and phone conversations? That’s the stereotype. But like most things in life, it’s more complicated than that.

The Myth: Introverts Love Texting

We’ve all seen the memes. “Introverts hate phone calls but love texting.” Sounds relatable, right? Until it’s not.

Because here’s the truth — texting is still a form of social interaction. It still requires energy, thought, and sometimes, emotional labor. It’s not the method that drains us; it’s the interaction itself.

According to Introvert, Dear, “Texting people back requires some level of energy that some of us may not have after a long day.” And that hits home for me. Some days I stare at my phone, read the message, and think, “I’ll reply when I have more brainpower.” Then I forget entirely.

My Personal Struggle With Phone Calls

Let me tell you about the time I let a call from someone I really care about go straight to voicemail… three days in a row. Not because I didn’t want to talk. But because I had nothing left in the tank.

I had been filming content, attending meetings, and dealing with a dozen small adulting disasters. When that phone rang? I couldn’t do it. No small talk. No energy to explain why I was quiet. No ability to hold space for a chat that didn’t have a clear point.

That’s when I realized: it’s not about disliking people. It’s about how much energy I have left to give.

Why Texting Can Feel Worse Than Phone Calls

1. It Never Ends

Phone calls typically have a beginning and end. Texting? Not so much.

You reply, they reply, you leave it on read, and then you feel guilty for ghosting. Suddenly, a simple message turns into a 3-day conversation you weren’t ready for.

2. The Pressure to Be Perfect

I overthink every word I type. Should I add an exclamation mark or will that seem too eager? Is that period too passive-aggressive? Should I say “Hey” or “Hi”? Exhausting.

Choosing Therapy calls this texting anxiety — and yes, it’s very real. The stress of crafting the “perfect” response can be emotionally draining, especially for introverts who are already managing low social energy.

3. Disruption of Alone Time

Notifications interrupt the sacred peace of our recharge time. Even if we don’t respond, the simple knowledge that someone is waiting for us to do so creates invisible pressure.

As Introvert, Dear puts it, “Even when we are alone, there is always the looming possibility of someone contacting us.”

4. The Feeling of Constant Accessibility

We live in a world where “being reachable” is the default. But introverts like me cherish our off-the-grid moments. Constant texting makes it feel like we never fully disconnect.

Introverted woman with glasses texting on her phone in a café, representing how digital communication can be socially draining for introverts.

Tips That Help Me (And Might Help You Too)

Over time, I’ve found a few things that make texting and phone calls a little more manageable:

  1. Set boundaries – I turn off non-urgent notifications and check messages at specific times.
  2. Use auto-responses – A simple “Hey! I saw your message but need some time to reply” can buy me breathing room.
  3. Communicate expectations – I let my people know it’s not personal if I take time to respond. I still love them. I just need space.
  4. Prioritize in-person or voice memos – Sometimes, I send a voice note instead. It’s quicker and less emotionally draining than typing.

For My Fellow Introverts: You’re Not Weird

You’re not rude. You’re not antisocial. You’re not broken.

You’re just someone who needs to manage their social energy in a world that doesn’t always understand that. That’s okay.

Key Takeaways

Here’s what I hope you’ll remember from this:

  1. Texting is still social energy — and that energy is limited.
  2. Phone calls can feel worse, but texting isn’t always easier.
  3. Introverts aren’t antisocial — we’re selectively social.
  4. There are ways to communicate without burning out.
  5. You don’t owe anyone constant accessibility.

FAQ

Q. Why do phone calls drain introverts so much? A. Phone calls often demand immediate focus, real-time responses, and prolonged social engagement — all of which quickly sap an introvert’s energy.

Q. Is it okay to not respond to texts right away? A. Absolutely. You’re allowed to prioritize your mental health and respond when you have the capacity.

Q. How can I explain this to my friends or family? A. Be honest. A simple, kind message like “Texting wears me out sometimes — but I care about you” can go a long way.

Q. What if I feel guilty for not replying? A. That guilt is valid but not necessary. Your needs matter too. Set boundaries that work for you.

Q. Is texting anxiety a real thing? A. Yes. According to Choosing Therapy, it’s a growing issue that affects how people experience communication stress.

Final Thoughts

Texting isn’t the magical fix for introvert communication challenges we thought it was. For many of us, it comes with its own set of struggles. But with awareness, boundaries, and a bit of self-compassion, we can find ways to connect without draining ourselves dry.

Remember, I’m not a mental health professional — I’m just a fellow introvert sharing what works for me. Please reach out to a licensed professional if you’re struggling with your mental health or communication anxiety.

We deserve to feel safe in how we connect. And sometimes, that means putting the phone down — unapologetically.

Much love. Good vibes. – Ky