Does dating give you anxiety?

It does for me.

Sometimes love feels like a limited resource. We worry that if we make one wrong move or say the wrong thing, it will all disappear.

We spend hours scrolling through dating apps, hoping to find a connection that feels safe and authentic. Instead, we often end up feeling burned out and unseen.

But what if jealousy was not a character flaw? What if it was simply data telling you that you do not feel safe?

The New Rules of Connection

I sat down with Oyku Saran and Eric Waldstein to kick off Season 7 of the podcast. They are the founders of Beyond, a vetted community designed for honest and intentional relationships.

We discussed why so many of us feel exhausted by traditional dating apps. The constant swiping often leads to fatigue rather than connection. Oyku shared her story of moving from Turkey to New York and realizing that the traditional “relationship escalator” did not work for her. Eric opened up about his past struggles with infidelity and how he became a “student of love” to find a better way.

Before we get into the details, I want to shout out our sponsor for this season. Sucreabeille is an indie perfume house that captures stories in a bottle. They celebrate geek culture and being unapologetically yourself. If you want a scent that tells your story, check them out at https://sucreabeille.com/.

Radical Honesty Over Everything

We hear the term “modern relationship” thrown around on social media constantly. It often sounds like a code word for “complicated.”

I asked Eric to define it in human terms. His answer was simple.

“Radical honesty.”

It starts with being honest with yourself about your desires. Then you communicate those desires to others without shame.

Eric explained that you do not have to be polyamorous to have a modern relationship. You could be monogamous and still practice this. The key is transparency. It is about sharing your truth with your partner within whatever boundaries you set together.

Jealousy Is Data, Not a Monster

One of the most powerful moments in this episode was our conversation about jealousy. For many of us with anxiety, jealousy feels like a punch in the gut.

Eric flipped the script on this emotion.

He said, “In the relationships where I’ve felt jealousy, it’s typically stemming from a place where we haven’t created the amount of safety… that we should have created between us.”

Jealousy is not a monster you have to fight. It is information. It tells you that a need is not being met.

Oyku added a crucial point about anxiety. She noted that jealousy is rarely a factor when she has open communication.

“It’s only in times where I feel ignored or not treated right… that’s when the anxiety creeps up.”

When we feel left in the dark, our brains start to make up stories. That is where the anxiety lives.

Moving Beyond The Dating Swipe

This lack of safety is why Oyku and Eric built Beyond.

Most dating apps let anyone join with zero accountability. This creates an environment where people feel unsafe or unsure of who they are talking to.

Beyond is different. It is an app-invited community.

Eric broke down their specific vetting rubric:

  • Honesty and Intention: They look at the quality of your profile.
  • Diversity: They value a diverse community.
  • Consent: Referrals matter.
  • Self-Discovery: They look for people who are thoughtful about how they show up.

They also take safety seriously. If a man wants to join the community and does not have a referral, he must hop on a FaceTime call with the team for a vibe check.

This ensures that the people you meet are real and aligned with the values of the community.

If you are curious about a better way to connect, you should check out what they are building. You can apply to join the community CLICKING HERE.

Try This Today

Next time you feel a pang of jealousy or relationship anxiety, pause. Do not judge yourself for feeling it.

Instead, ask yourself: “What safety is missing right now?”

Treat the feeling as data. Use that data to start a conversation about what you need to feel secure.

Disclaimer: I am not a licensed mental health professional. I am just a guy sharing my story. Please seek professional help if you are struggling.

Much love. Good vibes. – Ky