Did you know that the second Friday of January is officially known as “Quitter’s Day”? That is the specific day when motivation typically crashes and most people abandon their shiny new goals.

If you are reading this and feeling guilty because your 2026 resolutions have already gathered dust, please stop. You are not alone. Research shows that only about 9% of Americans successfully keep their resolutions for the entire year. That means the vast majority of us are setting ourselves up for failure before the year even starts.

As someone with ADHD who has spent years in a cycle of “hyper-fixate and crash,” I know that shame spiral well. We convince ourselves that we need to become an entirely new person when the clock strikes midnight. But what if the problem isn’t your discipline? What if the problem is the goal itself?

In this episode, I sat down with Licensed Mental Health Counselor Chelsie Maccarone to talk about why we need to stop “bulldozing” our lives and start renovating them instead.

Listen to the Episode

Why This Conversation Matters

We are living in a world that constantly demands we be better, faster, and more productive. For those of us navigating neurodivergence or mental health struggles, that pressure can send us straight into “survival mode.”

Chelsie Maccarone is the owner of Healthy Minds and More and a frequent guest on the show. She brings a refreshing “messy bun, granola mom” energy that rejects perfectionism in favor of being real. In this chat, we break down the difference between a rigid resolution and a flexible intention.

A Note from Our Sponsor: This season of The Vibe With Ky is proudly presented by Sucreabeille. They are an indie perfume house that creates scents based on geek culture and storytelling. If you are looking for a scent that captures the chaos and comfort of the ADHD brain, check out our collaboration fragrance: Why Did I Walk Into This Room?. It smells like cherry pie, cinnamon, and radical self-acceptance.

Renovate, Don’t Bulldoze Your Life

One of the biggest mistakes we make in January is treating our lives like a tear-down project. We look at ourselves and decide everything needs to go.

Chelsie introduced a brilliant analogy during the episode. She asked us to view ourselves like a house. When you want to improve a home, you don’t bulldoze the foundation and destroy the structural bones. You renovate one room at a time.

You are already built. Your foundation is set. You don’t need to destroy who you are to make improvements. When you try to change everything at once, you get overwhelmed. Instead, pick one “room” (one habit or area of life) and apply a fresh coat of paint.

The “Cake Method” for Goal Setting

We often set goals that are simply too big to swallow. We say things like “I am going to lose 30 pounds” or “I am going to write a book this month.”

Chelsie suggests we treat goals the same way we eat a cake: one bite at a time.

  • The Trap: Setting a massive, vague expectation that creates pressure.
  • The Fix: Breaking that goal down into bite-sized pieces that are measurable and achievable.

If you aim at nothing, you will hit it every time. But if you aim for the whole cake at once, you will just get sick. Give yourself credit for the small bites. Even if you don’t hit the massive deadline, you are still closer to the goal than if you had never started.

Escaping “Survival Mode”

A major theme of our conversation was the concept of “survival mode.” This is that feeling where your nervous system is shot, you are constantly reactive, and you are just trying to keep your head above water.

Chelsie opened up about her own 2025 journey of realizing she had been operating in survival mode for four years since becoming a mom.

When you are in this state, you cannot effectively plan for the future because your brain is focused solely on getting through the day. The antidote is nervous system regulation. This doesn’t have to be complicated. It can be as simple as:

  • Legs Up the Wall: Laying on the floor with your legs vertically up a wall to engage the parasympathetic nervous system.
  • Sound Healing: Using binaural beats or sound baths to ground yourself.
  • Morning Quiet: Waking up slightly earlier to have a moment of silence before the chaos of the day begins.

The “Set” vs. Reality

Finally, we tackled the toxicity of social media comparison. We see influencers with pristine homes and perfect routines, and we use that as evidence that we are failing.

Chelsie reminded us that what we see online is a “set.” It is a curated, filtered, and staged closet, not a real one. Comparing your messy reality to someone else’s staged production is the fastest way to kill your motivation.

Episode Chapters

  • [00:02] – Intro & The “Marketing Meeting” Mix-up
  • [05:26] – Escaping Mom Survival Mode
  • [08:37] – Why Resolutions Fail (The Cake Analogy)
  • [11:14] – Social Media is a “Set” (Stop Comparing)
  • [14:17] – Renovate Your Life, Don’t Bulldoze It
  • [17:09] – The Mind-Body Connection & Nervous System
  • [24:18] – Reverse the Mic: My Mental Health Origin Story

Connect with Chelsie Maccarone

If you loved Chelsie’s vibe, you can find her at her practice, Healthy Minds and More. She specializes in perinatal mental health and takes a holistic “East meets West” approach to therapy.

  • Website: Healthy Minds and More
  • Podcast: Check out her podcast Unorthodoxy: Rethink Everything on YouTube and Spotify.

People Also Ask

What is the difference between a resolution and an intention? A resolution is often a rigid, outcome-based goal (e.g., “I will lose 10 pounds”). An intention is a flexible, value-based guide for how you want to live (e.g., “I intend to treat my body with respect”). Intentions allow for grace when life gets messy, whereas resolutions often lead to feelings of failure if you slip up once.

Why do I struggle to stick to goals with ADHD? ADHD brains often struggle with “future blindness” or time blindness. We have a hard time connecting current actions to long-term rewards. This is why the “Cake Method” (breaking things down) is so vital. It creates immediate, bite-sized wins that provide the dopamine hit our brains crave, keeping us motivated to take the next step.

One Small Step for Today

Stop looking at the whole year. Look at today. What is one small renovation you can make to your routine right now? Maybe it is drinking one glass of water. Maybe it is sitting in silence for five minutes. Do that one thing, and give yourself credit for it.

Disclaimer: I am not a licensed mental health professional. I am just a guy sharing my story. Please seek professional help if you are struggling.

Much love. Good vibes. – Ky