Are you tired of pretending you have it all together when you are barely holding on?

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The Breaking Point Behind the Content

When you are neurodivergent, or dealing with long-term mental health struggles, you get really good at wearing a mask. You learn how to function, go to work, feed the kids, and even make funny content for the internet, all while feeling completely empty inside. I spent years using humor as a shield to deflect from my own trauma. I would make a joke rather than process a difficult emotion.

My friend Kassi Mansfield knows exactly what that feels like.

You probably know Kassi as the awkward, sarcastic mom friend on social media. She takes my chaotic voiceovers and makes them look amazing on camera. She is a massive fitness creator and a business owner. But behind the scenes, she has been fighting a quiet battle that so many of us relate to: high-functioning, autopilot depression.

This season of The Vibe With Ky Podcast is sponsored by Sucreabeille. They are an incredible indie perfume house that focuses on storytelling. We collaborated to create a fragrance called “Why Did I Walk Into This Room?”, which is a gender-neutral love letter to the ADHD community. It features notes of fresh baked cherry pie, light cinnamon, and the absolute acceptance of who you are. You can grab your bottle right here.

In this episode, Kassi and I sit down to have a deeply honest conversation about dropping the fake internet persona, breaking generational cycles for our kids, and doing the hard work of healing.

The Reality of Autopilot Depression

Autopilot depression is a term that perfectly describes the experience of going through the motions of life without actually living it. You might still be hitting the gym and running a business, but internally, you are completely disconnected. The National Institute of Mental Health notes that Persistent Depressive Disorder (Dysthymia) often looks exactly like this. People can function at a high level for years while carrying a chronic, low-grade depression.

Kassi opened up about her breaking point.

“I’m living in autopilot depression right now and fighting through that… I was afraid of losing those views. I was afraid of it’s a sensitive world today. People are really mean… and I lost touch with being real and raw.” – Kassi Mansfield

When you are a single mom and a creator, there is a massive pressure to be the “aesthetic mom” with the perfect, beige house. Kassi refuses to play that game anymore. She is choosing authenticity over an algorithm.

The Hardest Truth of Healing

We talk a lot about “doing the work” in therapy, but we rarely talk about how uncomfortable that work is. It is easy to point fingers and blame our circumstances or our past relationships for why we are struggling. It takes a massive amount of strength to look in the mirror and acknowledge our own role in our pain.

“As much as I wanted to say, the reason I am this way is because this happened… how I reacted to it was my fault and how I continued to react to it was my fault. And I’m the problem of why it is continuing to happen.” – Kassi Mansfield

Taking accountability for our own self-sabotage is terrifying. But as we discussed, learning that you are the common denominator in your own struggles is also the exact moment you take your power back.

Breaking Generational Cycles

Parenting while trying to heal your own inner child feels like trying to drive a car while fixing the engine. Kassi is raising two young boys, and she is determined to teach them that experiencing a full range of emotions is a strength, not a weakness.

“I want them to know the power of feeling and embracing your emotions and seeing them and valuing those emotions as much as happy. Happy and anger and sad and joy and all of those are all the same level. They should all be acknowledged and appreciated for what they are.” – Kassi Mansfield

When Kassi has an “off day” or loses her patience, she sits her kids down and apologizes with an action. She explains that her frustration is not their fault. Research from the American Psychological Association highlights that open communication and repairing ruptures in the parent-child relationship are critical steps in stopping generational trauma.

Connect With Kassi Mansfield

People Also Ask

Q: What is autopilot depression? A: Autopilot depression, often related to High-Functioning Depression or Dysthymia, is a state where an individual continues to complete daily tasks (working, parenting, exercising) but feels emotionally numb or disconnected. They are surviving via muscle memory rather than actively engaging with their life.

Q: How do you break a generational cycle of trauma? A: Breaking a cycle requires intentional self-reflection and a willingness to parent differently than you were parented. It involves open communication, modeling healthy emotional regulation, and taking accountability (apologizing) when you make a mistake with your children.

Q: Is it okay to show negative emotions in front of your kids? A: Yes. Hiding all negative emotions can teach children that sadness or anger are “wrong.” Showing them how to process those emotions safely, and explaining that your feelings are not their fault, helps them build emotional intelligence and resilience.

A Final Thought

The next time you feel the pressure to put on a mask and pretend everything is fine, take a breath. You are allowed to be messy. You are allowed to have a disastrous house. You do not have to be the strong female lead every single second of the day.

Disclaimer: I am not a licensed mental health professional. I am just a guy sharing my story. Please seek professional help if you are struggling.

Much love. Good vibes. – Ky