Why I’m Writing About This
I’ll be honest—social anxiety has never been a personal struggle for me. As an introvert, my energy drains quickly in social situations, but that’s different from social anxiety. However, over the years, many of my followers have opened up about their struggles with ADHD and social anxiety, asking how the two are connected and what they can do to navigate friendships.
So, I dug in. I listened, researched, and learned from mental health professionals and people who experience both firsthand. If you’ve ever felt like your brain won’t shut up in social situations—overanalyzing conversations, fearing judgment, or feeling exhausted by interactions—you’re not alone. And that’s why we’re talking about it today.
Before we dive in, let me remind you that I’m not a mental health professional—just a guy who’s been on his own mental health journey and shares what I’ve learned. Always seek advice from a licensed professional if you’re struggling.
How ADHD and Social Anxiety Are Connected
ADHD and social anxiety often go hand in hand, but they’re not the same. Here’s how they overlap:
- Overthinking Social Interactions – ADHD makes it easy to blurt things out without thinking. Social anxiety makes you replay those moments on a loop, overanalyzing every word.
- Rejection Sensitivity – People with ADHD often experience rejection-sensitive dysphoria (RSD), making social rejection or even the perception of rejection feel unbearable.
- Executive Dysfunction & Avoidance – ADHD can make it hard to plan and maintain friendships, while social anxiety might make you avoid socializing altogether.
- Hyperawareness of Social Cues – Many people with ADHD struggle with reading social cues, which can lead to feeling awkward or uncertain in conversations.
This combination can make friendships feel exhausting, but the good news? You can build meaningful connections while managing these challenges.
Practical Tips for Navigating Friendships with ADHD and Social Anxiety
1. Challenge Negative Thoughts
Your brain might be telling you:
- “I probably said something weird.”
- “They don’t really like me.”
- “I’m annoying.”
Instead of accepting these thoughts as facts, challenge them:
- “Would I think this about a friend?”
- “Did they actually say they’re upset with me, or is this my anxiety talking?”
- “What if I assume they enjoyed our conversation instead?”
2. Use Structured Socializing
ADHD thrives on structure, and social anxiety eases when things are predictable. Instead of vague hangouts like, Let’s get together sometime, plan something specific:
- Low-pressure activities like movies, board games, or coffee shops (where there’s built-in conversation structure).
- Smaller group settings if big gatherings feel overwhelming.
- Time limits so you don’t feel drained—knowing when an event ends can make it easier to commit.
3. Lean into Your Strengths
People with ADHD often bring humor, creativity, and energy to friendships. Social anxiety might make you focus on what you lack, but try flipping the script:
- Are you a great listener?
- Do you make people laugh?
- Are you thoughtful in ways others appreciate?
Instead of dwelling on your perceived weaknesses, recognize what you bring to the table.
4. Prepare Conversation Starters
If social anxiety leaves you tongue-tied, prepare some go-to questions:
- “What’s something exciting you’ve been up to lately?”
- “What’s the best show you’ve watched recently?”
- “What’s your favorite random fact?”
Most people love talking about themselves—it takes the pressure off you to keep the conversation going.
5. Allow Yourself to Take Breaks
Social anxiety can make you hyperaware of how you’re coming across. ADHD can make your thoughts race. That’s exhausting. If you need to step away, do it! Go to the bathroom, take deep breaths, or even text a friend for reassurance.
Friendship isn’t about perfection—it’s about connection, and connection happens best when you take care of yourself.
5 Key Takeaways
- ADHD and social anxiety can make socializing overwhelming, but they are manageable.
- Challenge negative thoughts—don’t believe everything your brain tells you.
- Structured socializing can reduce anxiety and make interactions feel more comfortable.
- Your strengths matter—focus on what makes you a great friend.
- It’s okay to take breaks! Social energy is a resource, and you can manage it wisely.
FAQ: ADHD and Social Anxiety
Q. Can you have ADHD without social anxiety? A. Yes! Not everyone with ADHD experiences social anxiety, but many do due to rejection sensitivity, overthinking, or past negative experiences.
Q. How do I stop overthinking after social interactions? A. Try grounding techniques: Write down three things that went well, distract yourself with an activity, or remind yourself that most people aren’t replaying the interaction like you are.
Q. What’s the best way to make friends when you have ADHD and social anxiety? A. Find like-minded people through shared interests (gaming, book clubs, volunteering). It’s easier to connect when there’s a built-in topic of conversation.
Q. How do I balance needing alone time with maintaining friendships? A. Be upfront with friends. Let them know you value them but sometimes need time to recharge. True friends will understand!
Q. When should I seek professional help? A. If social anxiety keeps you from doing things you want to do, like making friends or attending events, a mental health professional can help you build confidence and coping strategies.
You’re Not Alone
ADHD and social anxiety can make friendships feel tricky, but you’re not broken, and you’re not alone. With some strategies, self-awareness, and a little patience, you can build and maintain great friendships without feeling like your brain is working against you.
Have you struggled with ADHD and social anxiety in friendships? What helps you the most? Let’s talk in the comments!
Much love. Good vibes. – Ky
