Have you ever paused in a completely quiet room and realized you do not recognize the person sitting in the silence? For a long time, I tied my entire worth to my output. If I was not producing content or performing at my day job, I panicked. I had built an entire persona to protect myself from feeling like an outsider. It turns out that hiding behind a mask requires a massive amount of biological energy. When we ignore our childhood trauma, our bodies keep the receipt.

That is why I sat down with the phenomenal Machan Taylor. Machan is a singer, author, and educator at NYU who has shared stages with icons like Pink Floyd and George Benson. But while she was performing in front of massive stadium crowds, she was quietly battling an intense search for her own identity. In this episode, we talk about her powerful memoir, Naked Out Loud: From Yokohama to Pink Floyd and Beyond, and how she learned to process the emotional scars of her past.

Before we get into the details, I want to thank our season sponsor, Sucreabeille. They helped me create a signature gender-neutral scent called “Why Did I Walk Into This Room?”. It smells exactly like cinnamon and cherry pie.

How to Heal From Childhood Trauma and Imposter Syndrome

Machan was born in Japan to a native Japanese mother and an American soldier father. Relocating to suburban New Jersey as a young girl created a massive shock to her system. She was dealing with a dual heritage in a world that did not have a clear category for her. The confusion of that displacement planted seeds of deep insecurity.

To cope, she turned to the stage. Performance offered a temporary fix, but it also became a highly restrictive cage. It is a common experience in the neurodivergent community: we mask our true selves to fit into neurotypical spaces, which ultimately fuels intense imposter syndrome. Machan explains this tension perfectly:

“Revealing your vulnerability and your sort of underbelly dark side is sort of frowned upon in Japanese culture. So I kind of learned from my mother how to sort of keep face.”

The mental fatigue of keeping face is exhausting. To actually start healing, Machan eventually turned to clinical modalities, including MDMA-assisted therapy. This allowed her to observe her earliest painful memories without her nervous system shutting down.

“I hadn’t realized for so many years that that original trauma as a child was the scar tissue and that very deep dark place that I needed to go to because everything else after that was built on top of that scar tissue.”

For those interested in the science behind this, clinical trials published by Nature Medicine show that MDMA-assisted therapy can significantly reduce the biological fear response, allowing individuals to process severe PTSD and trauma.

Disclaimer: I am not a licensed mental health professional. I am just a guy sharing my story. Please seek professional help if you are struggling.

The Biology of Nervous System Regulation

You cannot simply think your way out of anxiety. When your brain perceives a threat, it triggers a chemical response that alters your heart rate, breathing, and physical tension. This is basic biology.

If you want to know how to calm your nervous system naturally, you have to use physical tools. As a professional singer, Machan relies heavily on diaphragmatic breathing. This is not just a vocal warmup. Deep, intentional breathing physically stimulates the vagus nerve, which acts as the brake pedal for your body’s stress response.

“It helps us to tap into the vagus nerve, which also helps us to calm down, helps us to regulate the nervous system,” Machan notes. “So singing is good for your nervous system.”

According to research from Harvard Medical School, diaphragmatic breathing encourages full oxygen exchange, which slows the heartbeat and lowers or stabilizes blood pressure. It is a biological override for a spiraling mind.

People Also Ask

Q: How do you calm your nervous system naturally? A: The most effective natural method is using your biology to your advantage. Practices like diaphragmatic breathing, cold exposure, and grounding exercises directly stimulate the vagus nerve. This shifts your body from a sympathetic “fight or flight” state into a parasympathetic “rest and digest” state.

Q: How do you start healing from childhood trauma? A: Healing requires a combination of self-accountability and professional support. Finding a trauma-informed therapist is usually the best first step. They can guide you through modalities like EMDR, cognitive behavioral therapy, or somatic experiencing to help process memories that are trapped in the physical body.

Taking accountability for your mental health is hard work. It means confronting the quiet rooms and the uncomfortable memories. But putting in that work allows you to finally build an identity that belongs to you, not just the people around you. Go grab a copy of Machan’s book, Naked Out Loud, and start looking at your own story with a little more grace.

Much love. Good vibes. – Ky