Double masking ADHD and introversion is exhausting—and you’re not alone.
In this episode of The Vibe With Ky Podcast, we dive deep into the double masking dilemma—what it means to hide who you are as an introvert and someone with ADHD, and how that constant masking can lead to burnout.
If you’ve ever felt drained after forcing yourself to be outgoing or struggled to suppress fidgeting, impulsive thoughts, or brain fog just to fit in, this episode is for you.
I’ll share personal stories about my own experiences with double masking and offer practical strategies to help you:
✔️ Unmask and recharge without guilt
✔️ Set healthy boundaries while honoring your introverted side
✔️ Manage ADHD symptoms without feeling the need to hide them
What you’ll learn in this episode:
What masking means for introverts and ADHDers
How masking impacts mental and emotional health
Tools and strategies to embrace your authentic self
How to balance social energy and self-care
Whether you’re looking for tips to better manage ADHD or ways to feel more comfortable in your introverted skin, this episode will leave you feeling seen, validated, and empowered to thrive—just as you are.
Episode Transcript
Kyrus Keenan Westcott (00:00): Masking isn’t bad for a lot of us, ADHDers that are introverts. It’s the survival instinct, right? The unfortunate part is that it is so exhausting. It’s very exhausting, and so by the time that we reach the end of the day, I mean we’re just out by the time we get home from work or from an event or whatever it may be, we did so much masking as an introvert and so much [00:00:30] masking with ADHD that we end up getting home and just passing out, or we end up not being productive with the things that we want to at home and so on and so forth, and that is what I want us to work on. Hey there, Viber. Welcome to The Vibe With Ky Podcast, where we keep it real, we keep it relatable, and we keep it a little bit funny as we dive into all things mental health, ADHD, and introversion.
(00:55): My name is Ky. I’m your host, and each week we’re going to tackle life struggles with honesty, humor, [00:01:00] and a whole lot of hearts. So whether you’re here for practical advice or a little validation or just a laugh about what life is like as an adult in today’s world, listen, you are in the right place. We are not about toxic positivity here. We are all about being genuine to each other and to ourselves, and we’re talking about real things and we want to encourage each other and remind you that you are not alone. With that said, my friends, sit back, relax, and let’s vibe through this together and enjoy today’s episode of The Vibe With Ky Podcast. What up friends? Welcome [00:01:30] to The Vibe With Ky Podcast. It, it’s the 6th of January that I’m recording this, and we are at the start of the new year. We’re in 2025 somehow some way, I don’t know how, but we’re here.
(01:50): Where did the year go? Where does time go? I don’t know, but right there on my [00:02:00] kitchen counter is a whole bag of Chipotle, which is waiting for me that I’m going to be devouring as soon as this podcast episode is over. Super excited. Got my Chipotle right there. If you are watching this right now, over on the couch right there, that is one of my cats. That is bur hanging out, and then you could probably see Hammy. Hammy is sleeping up there on this cat tree right now, so we’re vibing today. We’re just chilling, [00:02:30] getting ready for WWE Raw on Netflix today. That’s actually a perfect segue into three quick things for this week. Starting off with number one, WWE Raw on Netflix. For those of you that don’t know me, I am a huge WWE fan. I am. I have always been a huge, I can’t even say it, WWE fan, and today is the [00:03:00] premier of WWE on Netflix, and I’m super excited, and those of you that are wrestling fans, I’m sure you are super excited as well because there’s going to be, it’s pretty much like a premium live event except it’s raw WWE Monday night.
(03:19): We’re all tonight and I get to see a lot of my favorite wrestlers today, get to see a lot of them, so a lot of my friends were excited. I was going to have people over today, but last night [00:03:30] we got some really, we got a lot of snow, so I told them, let’s be safe. Stay home, watch from the comfort of your home where you’re nice and safe as opposed to coming to my house. So it’s just going to be me and my cats watching WWE tonight. That’s okay. Super excited for that. That’s number one. Number two, podcast review. Friends, if you are a fan of this podcast, I know there’s so many of you that listen to this podcast faithfully every single week, and I [00:04:00] appreciate that more than you could ever possibly know. Honestly, it means the world to me. Do me a favor, friends, if you enjoy this podcast, do me a favor.
(04:09): Leave a review, whether you listen to it on Spotify or Apple Music, Google, wherever it is that you listen to me. Yap. On and on and on for hours on end. That’s not hours but half hour. If you enjoy that, do me a favor. Just leave a review. Just be like, Hey, [00:04:30] I listened to the episode and I enjoyed it because that’s going to help the podcast reach other people that are like you that might find this kind of nonsense that I spew. You might find it interesting. So do me a favor. If you enjoy this podcast, just do me a favor and leave a review. I would really very much appreciate that. That’s number two. Number three, audio books. A lot of you ask me all the time [00:05:00] whether the digital books that I write, whether I would be doing audiobook versions of it.
(05:06): The answer is yes, the answer is yes. That’s probably the number one question that I get is especially for the ADHD books that I wrote, they’re like, are you going to do an audio book version of this? I don’t know if I can sit and read this whole thing. The answer is yes, I’ve finished recording the first ADHD book. I just have to edit it. I might edit it while I am watching WWE tonight. [00:05:30] Hopefully I’ll get that up this week, and then probably either next week or the week after is when I’ll finish the other ADHD book and the other introvert book. I want to see how this first one goes first. That way I can make any adjustments when I record the next round of audio books and stuff like that. If it gets to a point that y’all are like, yeah, actually we prefer audio books over regular books, if it gets to that point, then I’ll just start making more audio books for everybody.
(05:57): But with that said, if there’s any specific topic that you would [00:06:00] like for me to write about and make a digital guide about an audiobook, let me know. Legit, shoot me an email, shoot me a dm, be like, Hey, I bought your books. I would really like if you went into more detail about such and such, I’ll be more than happy to do that for you because that’s the kind of stuff that I need. I want that feedback from all of you, so I very much appreciate that. Alright, friends, let’s get into today’s topic today, friends, we’re going to be talking about the double dose of masking [00:06:30] that people like me get to do, and I’m sure a lot of you listening and watching right now are in the same boat where we have to pull double duty when it comes to masking because we are not only introverts and we’re masking our introversion sometimes, but we’re also ADHD or so.
(06:47): We are masking our ADHD, and if you are somebody who might feel overwhelmed by masking or navigating both ADHD and introversion, then guess what? This episode this [00:07:00] week, this one is for you. This one is for you. I was going through the topics of things I could talk about this week, and this one stood out because I was like, wait a second, I struggle with this nonstop. Y’all know me. For those of you that listen to me on this podcast or follow me on social media channels. Y’all know I either make introvert content or ADHD content or cheese content, but we won’t go there. I either do one of the two, and it’s not often that I focus on the combination [00:07:30] of the two. So in this episode, we’re going to talk about what it’s like masking ADHD as an introvert, because I think that’s going to be really interesting to see how it goes.
(07:42): I feel like introverts in a ADHD brains, we need instruction manual and it’s like we need it, but sometimes it’s written in invisible ink. I feel like that’s how we struggle, but that’s what today’s episode is for. I want to share some relatable stories. [00:08:00] I want to share some insights, I want to share some tips, some things that I do on a personal basis, and hopefully when this episode is all said and done, you’re going to feel just a little less alone. That’s the goal. So I want to start off in this first segment. This is a segment that I call the double masking dilemma. Double masking dilemma. What does it mean for introverts and what masking mean for introverts people with ADHD? [00:08:30] Let’s talk about the introvert side of it first, right? What is introvert masking? Introvert masking is when you’re pretending pretty much to be outgoing, you’re holding back your urge to sneak out of events like social events early.
(08:46): You feel like that guilt sometimes, or it’s like you’re forcing yourself to be somebody that you’re not. You’re forcing yourself to quote, fit in with the extrovert world that you might find yourself in, and that [00:09:00] is exhausting because you are legit pretending to be somebody else when really you would rather be anyone or anywhere else. So that’s it from an introvert side, from an ADHD side, those of us that have to mask, we sometimes we mask our fidgeting, we suppress our impulsive thoughts. We’re fighting our brain fog. You know what I’m saying? You’ll see I have, for those of you watching, [00:09:30] I have my fidget toy right here. That helps, and you’ll notice it’s off camera. I don’t fidgeting with it down here. It helps me focus on the topic. It’s going to keep me on task with this episode. I need little things like this, but a lot of times, us introverts, we mask our introversion in order to fit in, and we mask our ADHD in order to not stand out, and that’s exhausting.
(09:59): That is so [00:10:00] fricking exhausting, and for those of you that know me, y’all know I come from a musical theater background. I went to school for it next year or this year I should say, because it’s 2025 now, Jesus. This year I’m directing two musicals. I’m directing West Side Story at the Broadway Theater of Pitman, and I’m directing Sister Act, the musical at the Ritz Theater Company in New Jersey. And I have a background when it comes to theater and acting, and I think that when [00:10:30] it comes to masking, I feel like sometimes when I’m masking, I feel like an actor that’s switching in between costumes and roles, and it’s not only at work, it happens at home, it happens at social gatherings, and I want to say this to everybody because I don’t want this to come off as if masking is bad. I don’t want you to think that you shouldn’t mask.
(10:54): This is what I want to tell you. Masking isn’t bad for a lot of us, [00:11:00] ADHDers that are introverts. It’s the survival instinct, right? The unfortunate part is that it is so exhausting. It’s very exhausting. And so by the time that we reach the end of the day, I mean, we’re just checked out by the time we get home from work or from an event or whatever it may be. We did so much masking as an introvert and so much masking with a ADHD that we end up getting home and [00:11:30] just passing out, or we end up not being productive with the things that we want to at home and so on and so forth, and that is what I want us to work on because it shouldn’t be that way. I don’t want us to be masking so much that it draws so much energy away from our happiness, from the times that we are genuinely happy in the environments that we’re in or wherever we are.
(11:56): I don’t want us to be so tired from masking that we don’t enjoy those moments. [00:12:00] That’s why I want to go into the second segment here, which is ADHD and introversion and how it’s the perfect storm. I remember growing up sidebar, by the way, this is my A ADHD coming up, by the way, sorry, but I remember growing up in the Philadelphia area, we had a, what do you call it? A radio station. Oh, I think it was called WJJZ. I want to [00:12:30] say, man, I can’t even remember, but I remember there was this one station and they used to have, then they would play jazz, sultry jazz music late at night, or not even late at night. It was like seven o’clock, but they play sultry jazz music. So anytime I see the word storm, by the way, this has nothing to do with what we’re talking about, but you are getting the ADHD side of me right now because that’s where my mind went in my notes when I wrote the perfect storm, [00:13:00] the first thing I thought of is the old school radio jazz that I would listen to in my mom’s car, quiet storm, and then some jazz flute would come into play.
(13:12): Quiet storm, WJJZ. Sorry, that has nothing to do with what we’re talking about, but that’s who I am. Listen, if you’re going to listen to my podcast, you’re going to get all of me. I’m not masking anything right now. This is me. I’m not masking. [00:13:30] I need y’all to see how chaotic my brain is. Hopefully y’all will be like, yeah, me too, Ky. Anyway, ADHD and introversion, it’s a perfect storm. It really is. ADHD brains we brave stimulation, and this is why it’s a storm, because ADHD brains crave stimulation, but introverts crave peace and quiet sometimes. Can you see [00:14:00] where the storm comes into play here? Quiet storm. Can you see where it comes into play? It’s like this internal tug of war that’s happening inside of your brain where you have one side wanting to dive into this new hyper fixation or this new project, and the other side is just wanting to take a nap after the grocery store.
(14:23): It’s that in and of itself is exhausting. Put masking aside, that in and of itself is exhausting. [00:14:30] It’s like driving a sports car in a traffic jam. You want to go so fast, but the road is packed and you can’t, and you’re just sitting there being like, ah, that’s what it’s like being an introvert with ADHD. But I want to encourage you, I want to encourage you to some faith, give yourself some grace here. Know that you’re not alone. Self-compassion is key here. When you find [00:15:00] yourself with these conflicting needs, it creates frustration and it’s so easy to beat ourselves up or to get mad at ourselves, whatever it may be. You got to have self-compassion here and know that there are tools out there, so what are the tools? But that leads into our next segment, tools for thriving in these situations. I have some tips for you friends, because I’m not just here to complain. I’m here to offer some solutions. I don’t want [00:15:30] to just highlight the problems. I want to highlight some solutions for you as well. My cat has been sitting there silently the whole time. This is rare. Those of you that watch this podcast often, y’all know my cats are quite often scurrying around in the back. My cat has been chilling there the whole time. I probably just jinxed it.
(15:50): Do you think my cat will stay there the whole time? Alright, we’ll see what happens. See, this is why this is a ADHD. It’s fine. [00:16:00] Now I have my notes in front of me for what I want to talk about with this topic, and now in the corner of my eye, I am going to be focused on my cat being like, did he get up? Is he moving? Is he going to do anything? And now I know people that are watching this are probably going to do the same. They’re going to be listening to me sort of, but in the back of their brain, they’re going to be like, I wonder if Kas, Ky, Kat’s, Ky, wow, I wonder if Ky’s cat is going to move. My brain is a chaotic mess right now.
(16:30): [00:16:30] Quiet store. Let’s talk about some tools. Tools for thriving as an introvert with ADHD, because managing Double Masking is not easy. So I’m going to give you some tips here. Number one, schedule some quiet time before and after you have high energy events, you got to schedule it. You got to make sure you work that into your schedule because sometimes it doesn’t work out the way that you want [00:17:00] and you can’t just rely on hopefully being able to have those moments. No schedule that, schedule that stuff in schedule in. Another thing that I do, and this is on the side of giving myself grace. I mean, y’all know me. I try to use humor as a tool. I used to use humor as an unhealthy coping mechanism, but now thanks to therapy, thank you therapist that I’ve been seeing for a couple of years now.
(17:25): Now I use humor as a tool. I laugh at my quirks instead of hiding [00:17:30] from them. That really, really helps me. It helps me get a grasp on how everything’s going, right? I also create ADHD friendly routines that respect my introversion boundaries. For example, solo task batching. I do things like that. I try to have one support the other. I try to think of a ADHD esque things that the [00:18:00] introvert side of me would appreciate. It’s not easy to find that combination, but once you find it, oh God, it is perfect. And then lastly, I use visual reminders and checklists to stay on track for me. I don’t want to say you got to do it, but I got to do it. I got to map it all out. I got to have visual reminders and checklists to help me stay on track. That’s why even when I’m recording this podcast, y’all see me, my [00:18:30] mind is chaotic. I have a legit checklist in front of me as I’m talking to y’all being like, okay, Ky, make sure you hit this point. Make sure you hit that point. Make sure you talk about this. Make sure you don’t talk about that. One of the next checkpoints that I have here is it literally says, make sure you remind people of your guidebooks that you wrote.
(18:50): So I’m going to listen to myself, friends. I wrote guidebooks for ADHD, and for introverts. My ADHD digital guidebook is called the ADHD focus formula. [00:19:00] And my introvert guidebook is called the Introvert Escape Plan. And they’re now available, they’re on sale this year, and I’m giving them away for 75% off, 75% off. You can get them, and they break down how you can embrace your introversion, and they break down how you can embrace your ADHD. They’re on sale now. And so if you go to my website, the vibe with Ky.com, you’re going to get that. You’re going to get it. It’s there for you. [00:19:30] At the end of the day, man, you just got to give yourself permission to be yourself.
(19:37): You have the permission to be yourself seriously, ADHD, introversion. Just be yourself. You have that permission. You’re allowed to do that. So this is what I want you to do. I want you to normalize taking breaks. I want you to normalize saying no. And I want you to normalize stepping away from people when your energy runs low. Because you know us introverts, we have this guilt [00:20:00] trip that we give ourselves. Oh my goodness, some of us do the Irish goodbye, and that’s fine. But even if you don’t Irish goodbye, just literally tell your friends, Hey, listen, I got to bounce. I’ll talk to you later. There’s nothing wrong with that. Don’t guilt trip yourself anymore, introverts, stop it. Cut it out. As uncle Jesse would say, did Uncle Jesse say that or was it the other? God, no. Don’t know. I can’t go there because now my brain is going to be thinking of full house. [00:20:30] Cut it out though.
(20:34): I used to be afraid of canceling plans, and the reason why is because I would be like, oh, what are they going to think of me? That’s okay. If you’re looking out for your best self, you got to be able to set a boundary and not only respect it yourself, but have other people respect it as well. You can’t expect other people to respect a boundary that you don’t respect yourself. [00:21:00] You know what I’m saying? So don’t worry about it. It’s okay. Be yourself. I encourage all of you that are listening and all of you that are watching right now to practice unmasking. Do it in small steps. Start with people that you trust. Just unmask your introversion. When I say unmask, I mean don’t feel the pressure to mask your introversion. Don’t feel the pressure to mask your ADHD. Start off in small groups. Start off with around the people [00:21:30] that you trust. Maybe it’s a loved one. Maybe it’s your husband, your wife, your girlfriend, your boyfriend, your brother, your sister, your mom, your dad, whatever it may be. Start off in small chunks. Just keep in mind, keep this in mind. Authenticity. It’s not a weakness, it’s a strength. So use that to your advantage. Don’t be afraid to be your authentic, genuine self. I mean that because that’s the best version of you.
(21:57): Use me as an example as [00:22:00] we’re recording this podcast right now. Y’all saw me, my ADHD was a DH, ding, hard. You know what I’m saying? But I’m being my authentic self. I’m being my genuine self, and I want y’all to see that because that’s who I am, and I feel good about it, and I hope that y’all can take that as inspiration and y’all can do the same you. So a couple quick takeaways from this before I let you go. Number one, please know that masking is common. It’s common, [00:22:30] but balance. Balance and self-care when it comes to masking, that’s key. That’s important. Masking is common, but make sure you balance it. Self-care, set that boundary. Respect that boundary for yourself. I appreciate y’all. I appreciate y’all. Y’all got this ADHDers. If you want some more information like this, make sure you visit my website.
(22:52): They’ll vibe with Ky.com and check out my ADHD focus formula and my introvert escape plan, which is now available on my [00:23:00] website, my friends. Go get it right now. Dang it. And that’s a wrap on this week’s episode of The Vibe With Ky Podcast. Thank you so much for tuning in. Thank you so much for watching. Thank you so much for listening. I hope that you found a little bit of comfort in today’s episode, and I hope that you’re walking away with a little bit encouragement, and I hope that you laughed a little bit along the way. If you enjoyed this episode, please be sure to like it and subscribe and leave a review. Let me know what you thought of the episode. I really want to hear your voice. I want to hear your story. [00:23:30] I want to hear all about your journey. Let’s keep the conversation going. Make sure you follow me on all of your favorite social media platforms. Follow me on TikTok, Facebook, Instagram, whatever it may be @TheVibeWithKy. For more tips, more laughs, and more real talk. Remember my friends, you are not alone on this journey. We are in this together. And until next time, stay kind to yourself. Embrace the journey and keep vibing. I’ll catch you next time. Much love, good vibes.
