Have you ever felt guilty for saying no, even when you knew you were stretched too thin?
If you’ve ever overcommitted, people-pleased your way into burnout, or struggled to protect your time, you are not alone — especially if you live with ADHD.

Before we dive in, you can watch or listen to the full interview with Heidi Fishbein here:

In today’s episode of The Vibe With Ky Podcast, I sat down with the amazing Heidi Fishbein, Certified Christian and ADHD Life Coach, Assistant Director of Training at the International ADHD Coach Training Center (iACTcenter), and the founder of Journey ADHD Coaching. Heidi has trained and mentored hundreds of coaches worldwide. She helps Christian women and families living with ADHD rediscover hope, embrace who they are, and live with intention and joy.

You can learn more about Heidi at lifecoachheidi.com and follow her work on Instagram @heidifishbeinlifecoach.

And don’t miss Heidi’s free resources at the end of this blog post to help you start setting better boundaries today.

Why People with ADHD Struggle with Boundaries

Setting boundaries can be tough for anyone, but ADHD adds a few extra layers to the struggle. Studies show that emotional dysregulation — trouble managing emotions like anger, frustration, and fear — is very common among adults with ADHD (Source: PubMed).

Add in rejection sensitivity, impulsivity, and time blindness, and it’s easy to see why saying no feels like climbing a mountain.

Here are just a few reasons Heidi and I discussed:

  • Fear of hurting someone’s feelings or being rejected
  • Genuine excitement leading to overcommitment
  • Forgetting personal limits until it’s too late
  • Struggles with time management and planning

Sound familiar? Trust me, you are not alone.

5 Big Takeaways from My Interview with Heidi Fishbein

1. Boundaries Build Better Relationships

Heidi reminded us that boundaries aren’t walls — they’re healthy fences with gates. When we set boundaries, we show up with more honesty and love. It’s about protecting your peace, not pushing people away.

2. Saying No Can Still Be Kind

You don’t have to be cold or harsh to say no. Heidi recommends soft, honest approaches like,
“Thank you for thinking of me. Let me check my schedule and get back to you.”
It’s all about honoring yourself and the relationship at the same time.

3. Your Values Are Your Anchor

When you know what you stand for — your values, your purpose — it’s much easier to know when to say yes and when to say no. Boundaries are strongest when they are tied to your bigger life goals.

4. Practice Makes Progress

Saying no might feel awkward or even painful at first. That’s normal. Heidi stressed that setting boundaries is a skill. The more you practice, the easier and more natural it becomes.

5. You Will Face Pushback — And That’s Okay

Sometimes people won’t like the new boundaries you set, especially if they benefited from your lack of them before. Heidi reassured us that staying true to your values is worth the discomfort.

Action Step: Set Your First Small Boundary This Week

Pick one area where you feel stretched too thin. It could be work, family, church, or even social plans.
Use Heidi’s gentle script:
“Thank you so much for thinking of me. I’m going to have to pass this time.”

Start small, reflect on how it felt, and celebrate the fact that you took the first step toward protecting your peace.

Free Resources from Heidi Fishbein

Heidi generously shared two incredible free workbooks to help you put these strategies into action:

You can find even more free resources at lifecoachheidi.com/freebies.

FAQs About ADHD and Setting Boundaries

Q. How do I stop feeling selfish when setting boundaries?

A. It’s important to remind yourself that protecting your mental health is an act of self-respect, not selfishness. Boundaries allow you to show up better for yourself and the people you care about.

Q. What’s a sign that a boundary needs to be set?

A. Pay attention to feelings of resentment, exhaustion, or overwhelm. Those are usually clear signs that a boundary is needed somewhere in your life.

Q. How do I stay consistent with my boundaries over time?

A. Visual reminders, journaling, and accountability partners can help. Review your values and goals often to stay anchored in why the boundary matters.

Final Thoughts

My conversation with Heidi Fishbein was one of the most empowering ones I’ve had.
It’s not about being difficult or selfish — it’s about living with intention and protecting your energy.
If you’re someone with ADHD learning how to set better boundaries, give yourself grace. Progress is the goal, not perfection.

Much love. Good vibes. – Ky