Watch or listen to the full episode here:
What if the way the world wants you to show up… just doesn’t work for you?
That’s the question we explored in this powerful episode of The Vibe With Ky Podcast. I had the honor of sitting down with Sam Sheppard, introvert advocate, speaker, author, and the creator of i-Unbound, a weekly newsletter helping introverts break free from societal noise and build lives that actually feel good.
As someone who didn’t even realize I was an introvert until adulthood, I found myself nodding (and laughing) through this entire conversation. Sam has this way of calling out the quiet stuff we’ve been taught to ignore. The ways we shrink. The ways we mask. The ways we convince ourselves that discomfort is just a normal part of being human.
Spoiler: it’s not.
Meet Sam Sheppard
Sam’s story is grounded in loss, self-awareness, and intentional reinvention. After experiencing a life-altering bereavement at 14, Sam adopted a simple but bold philosophy: live, don’t just exist.
They went on to lead trainings for companies like Google, Ford, and Chanel… but what sets Sam apart is how deeply they understand introversion beyond personality tests. Sam teaches from lived experience. Their mission is clear: help over 1 million introverts unlearn the noise and rebuild on their own terms.
You can follow Sam on Instagram, TikTok, or LinkedIn.
Our Systems Were Not Built for Introverts
One of the biggest truths from this episode? Society, especially the workplace, is still built for extroverts.
“I’ve never seen an introvert burnout because they spent too much time alone,” Sam said. “It’s always because they spent too much time pretending to be someone else.”
We talked about how “performing” at work drains introverts in ways that aren’t always obvious. That chronic fatigue? That loss of joy? It might not be laziness. It might be misalignment.
Redesigning Your Life Begins with Unmasking
We dove deep into the concept of masking, the ways introverts and neurodivergent people adapt in order to “fit in.” And while masking can be a useful survival tool, it can also quietly wear us down.
Sam shared how they started unmasking by asking a simple question: “Does this feel good?”
That question led to small shifts. And those small shifts eventually led to the intentional, values-aligned life Sam lives now.
How Systems Can Help Introverts Thrive
Sam’s newsletter, i-Unbound, blends science-backed systems from Stanford’s Life Design Lab with practical introvert-focused strategies.
They offered a few examples of how systems can support introverts:
- Batching tasks around energy rather than time
- Building in decompression rituals after meetings
- Being honest with yourself about what drains vs. energizes you
As someone with both ADHD and introversion, I’ve been leaning into this balance myself. (Shameless plug: my guidebook Managing ADHD as an Introvert breaks it down in detail.)
Actionable Tip: Choose One Thing to Stop Performing
One of the most powerful parts of our chat was this idea:
“What if you stopped performing in just one area of your life this week?”
It doesn’t have to be dramatic. It could be saying no to a Zoom call, not forcing small talk at the grocery store, or letting your phone go to voicemail.
Start small. Start honest. But just start.
5 Key Takeaways
- Introverts don’t need to be fixed, they need room to breathe.
- Masking may help you survive, but unmasking helps you thrive.
- Systems aren’t boring, they’re freedom for your energy.
- Society isn’t built for introverts… but you can redesign your own life.
- You don’t need to prove your worth by being more extroverted.
FAQ
Q. What does “redesigning life” actually mean for an introvert?
A. It means unlearning harmful norms and building routines, relationships, and goals around your actual energy—not what the world expects.
Q. How do I know if I’m masking or just being adaptable?
A. If it feels draining or disconnected from your values, it’s probably masking. Adaptability doesn’t cost your peace.
Q. Are there any tools for introverts trying to find balance with ADHD?
A. Yes! I created a guidebook called Managing ADHD as an Introvert that covers daily tips, structure ideas, and how to avoid burnout. You can grab it here.
If you’re tired of feeling like you’re too much or not enough depending on the room you’re in… this episode is for you.
It’s never too late to stop existing and start living.
Much love. Good vibes. – Ky
