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When I was diagnosed with ADHD and depression in my thirties, it honestly felt like putting on prescription glasses for the very first time. Suddenly, the blur of my entire life made sense. The constant exhaustion, the leaky working memory, the crippling executive dysfunction. I finally had a biological explanation for why simple daily tasks felt like climbing a mountain. Getting that diagnosis was incredibly validating.
But over time, something strange started to happen. I began to notice that my diagnosis was slowly taking over my entire personality. When I felt overwhelmed, I would say things like, “I am an anxious person,” instead of saying, “I am experiencing a lot of anxiety right now.” It is a subtle difference, but the impact on your brain is massive. I started to let my symptoms dictate my boundaries, my relationships, and my view of my own future.
I know I am not the only one doing this. We live in an era where mental health awareness is at an all-time high, which is a beautiful thing. However, we have also created a culture where it is very easy to turn a clinical medical label into your primary identity.
To help me understand this trend, I sat down with Dr. Jeremy Thompson. Dr. Thompson is a family doctor and medical practitioner from Sydney, Australia. He has an extensive counseling background in cognitive and narrative therapies, and he spent a decade practicing hypnosis. His primary goal is to help people separate their positive core features from the bad habits and unwelcome behaviors they have acquired over time.
If you want to dig deep into his methods, I highly recommend you check out his book, Understand Your True Identity.
Welcome to the Diagnosis Generation
Dr. Thompson calls our current cultural moment the “Diagnosis Generation.” We are highly educated on psychological terms, but we are increasingly turning those medical labels into our personal identities.
There is a real danger in this. According to clinical research on labeling theory, when a person strongly identifies with a psychiatric diagnosis, they can sometimes subconsciously adopt behaviors associated with that disorder. It becomes a self-fulfilling prophecy. When you view yourself strictly through the lens of a disorder, you start to believe that your negative symptoms are permanent, unchangeable traits of your character.
Dr. Thompson noted in our chat that he sees two groups of people in his practice. The first group can handle difficulties and conflicts functionally because they have a strong, positive sense of self. The second group constantly struggles with anxiety, bodily complaints, and relationship issues because they have a mixed-up sense of who they are. They lack confidence and do not feel good about themselves deep down.
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The Positive-Centered Approach
So, how do we fix this mixed-up sense of self? Dr. Thompson advocates for what he calls a positive-centered approach.
When humans are born, there is no negativity or bad feeling in their heads. Babies are naturally happy, energetic, and curious. We start off with a foundation of positive talents and qualities. However, as we grow up, we face discipline, setbacks, and trauma. We acquire negative feelings, bad habits, and unhelpful beliefs about ourselves. We start to believe that we are not good enough.
The problem happens when we mix our core, positive soul with these acquired negative habits. We start to see ourselves as a “mixed bag.” When you view yourself this way, every mistake you make feels like a direct attack on your character. It ruins your resilience.
Instead, Dr. Thompson suggests we need to separate the two. You must understand that the core of you is inherently good. You mean well. The negative thoughts, the bad habits, and the symptoms of your mental health condition are things that you have acquired. They are attached to you, but they are not the actual core of your soul.
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Pausing to Ask the Real You
One of the most practical pieces of advice Dr. Thompson shared is a simple internal check-in process. When you feel a negative emotion building up, you have to find a way to pause before you react.
If you feel intense anger, anxiety, or the urge to lash out, take a breath and ask yourself: “What does the real me want to do in this situation?”
For Dr. Thompson, his real self is a caring person who wants to help others. When he remembers that, it diffuses his anger. For me, I know that my true self is deeply patient. If I can tap into that patience, I can let go of the immediate stress and impulsive frustration.
This simple pause helps you act from your true identity rather than reacting from your acquired trauma or your biological symptoms. You are responsible for your own actions, and you have the power to choose how you respond to the world around you.
People Also Ask
Q: How do I separate my true identity from my mental health diagnosis? A: Start by changing the language you use. Instead of saying “I am ADHD” or “I am depressed,” say “I have ADHD” or “I am managing depression.” A diagnosis explains your biology and your executive function, but it does not dictate your moral character, your sense of humor, or your core values. Focus on the positive traits you were born with and view your symptoms as something you manage, not something you are.
Q: What is narrative therapy? A: Narrative therapy is a psychological approach that helps you view your life as a story. It allows you to separate yourself from your problems by looking objectively at the facts of your past. For example, if you focus heavily on the negative aspects of your childhood, narrative therapy challenges you to find the positive moments as well, helping you create a more balanced and forgiving view of your history.
Q: Is it normal to feel lost after getting a mental health diagnosis? A: Absolutely. It is very common to experience an identity crisis after a late diagnosis. You are re-evaluating your entire life through a new lens. Give yourself plenty of grace during this transition period. It takes time to learn how to manage your symptoms while still honoring the person you have always been.
Final Thoughts
You are not your diagnosis. You are not your anxiety, your depression, or your executive dysfunction. Those are simply hurdles that your brain has to navigate. Underneath all of that, you have a core identity that is full of talent, kindness, and potential. It is time to stop viewing yourself as a broken mixed bag and start recognizing the good person you actually are.
Please remember, this blog and podcast are for educational and entertainment purposes only. The information provided is not a substitute for professional medical advice, diagnosis, or treatment. Always seek the advice of your physician or other qualified health provider with any questions you may have regarding a medical condition.
Much love. Good vibes. – Ky
