Have you ever felt like your brain is a crowded transit station where all the trains arrive at once? The noise is deafening, and your executive function just completely freezes on the platform. We often label this as burnout, but there is a distinct biological reality happening behind the scenes. When your nervous system is overloaded, your body is literally starved for dopamine and demanding a pause.

That is exactly why I sat down with my good friend Monisha Holmes. Monisha brings an incredibly unique perspective to the table. She is a fashion model, a mental health therapist, and an astrology columnist for Cosmopolitan. We sat down to talk about CPTSD recovery, metacognition, and how we can actually achieve post-traumatic growth.

Before we jump into her amazing insights, I want to quickly mention that this podcast season is sponsored by Sucreabeille. You can check out my specific gender-neutral fragrance collaboration, “Why Did I Walk Into This Room?”, right here.

What is Post-Traumatic Growth?

We hear a lot about trauma, but we rarely discuss the mechanics of how we heal from it. Post-traumatic growth is not about false cheer or ignoring the pain. It involves a fundamental shift in how you process the world after a deeply stressful event.

Monisha put it perfectly: “Whenever you hear the word trauma, you’re really just hearing stress that a person has not been able to release.”

According to research published by the American Psychological Association, post-traumatic growth happens when people experience positive psychological change as a result of struggling with highly challenging life circumstances. It requires real emotional labor. Monisha refers to the feeling of reaching the other side of that hard labor as Eudaemonia. It is the peace and fulfillment that arrives only when you stop fighting your biology and do the heavy lifting of healing.

The Biology of Burnout and Metacognition

When you are dealing with high-functioning anxiety or chronic stress, your body keeps score. Inflammation, chronic pain, and executive dysfunction are biological realities. We cannot shame ourselves into being productive when our chemistry is fundamentally unbalanced.

To take accountability for her own mental health, Monisha practices metacognition.

“Thinking about your own thinking,” Monisha explains. “Checking in with myself, so I’m not like snowballing mental health concerns.”

By analyzing her own thought patterns, she avoids maladaptive loops. Clinical studies highlighted by the National Center for Biotechnology Information show that metacognitive therapy is highly effective in reducing anxiety because it targets how we respond to our own thoughts.

Here are a few ways Monisha protects her peace and practices accountability:

  • Evaluating her daily capacity and assigning “energy points” to her tasks.
  • Refusing to absorb other people’s emotional reactions as her own.
  • Using tools like writing and astrology to organize her thoughts objectively.

Breaking the Hustle Culture Cycle and Embracing Vulnerability

Western culture glorifies running ourselves into the ground. We treat stress as a badge of honor. But Monisha offered a perspective that completely reframes this reality.

“Stress is inevitable. The feeling of too much means that you have enough to figure it out,” she shared.

The tension we feel can actually encourage us to grow if we process it correctly. This also requires us to look in the mirror. During our chat, we discussed how men specifically struggle with vulnerability. There is a cultural expectation for men to always be in control. But suppressing feelings only breeds resentment and toxic behavior.

I had to learn this the hard way. Following a major breakup, it was incredibly easy for me to project blame. The real growth happened when I asked myself what my role was in the failure of that relationship. We have to take absolute accountability for our actions and our healing.

If you want to read more of Monisha’s incredible work, check out her articles at Cosmopolitan. You can also visit her professional website at https://www.monishaholmes.com/ or follow her on Instagram at https://www.instagram.com/monishaholmes.

People Also Ask

Q: What is the difference between PTSD and CPTSD? A: Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder (PTSD) typically stems from a single traumatic event. Complex PTSD (CPTSD) results from chronic, repeated stress or trauma over a long period, heavily impacting emotional regulation and a person’s core identity.

Q: How does metacognition help with anxiety? A: Metacognition is the practice of thinking about your own thinking. Instead of immediately believing an anxious thought, you step back and analyze why you are having that thought. This biological pause helps regulate your nervous system and prevents you from spiraling into a panic.

Disclaimer: I am not a licensed mental health professional. I am just a guy sharing my story. Please seek professional help if you are struggling.

Much love. Good vibes. – Ky